Sunday, June 16, 2013

Forced Discernment

I glanced through a guide to medical school admissions at the library today. "Medical school is not for the faint of heart" echoes through such publications. Popular citations of the low acceptance rates of most schools-- often at 5%-- is accompanied by lengthy browbeating and ridiculously exaggerated deadlines-- "You should take the MCAT in April, you should devote a month to your personal essay"...... etc.
The pre- medical community itself is a bit prone to hyper- perfectionism and considerable anxiety, which is completely understandable and sometimes echoed in yours truly.
BUT is that what this experience is all about? To weed out the "weak" and thus exacerbate the already budding arrogance of those who do "make it"? Do you really want your doctor to be so full of his/her self that listening to others or taking correction from others is lost?
I attend St. Joseph's Cathedral, and in the lobby hangs a poster with pictures of all the semanarians. The caption above reads "Pray that these men discern their calling." Pray that they score well enough to make it through? No. Pray that they not make any mistakes so they'll be accepted? No. Pray that they'll do everything so early that they'll get a head start on the competition? Again no. Pray that they'll know whether they are supposed to be priests or not, for goodness sake!
The premedical process is a rigorous process of forced discernment. I believe that the difficulty is designed to help people decide what they really feel called to do. It is a process that requires regular, consistent learning and work. A bit of healthy fear and the humility of constant confrontation with personal inadequacies are usually thrown in for good measure.
So if you read this blog, pray for a pre- anything person you know. Pray for yourself and pray for me. Not that we'll "get in" but that we'll know where we are supposed to go. If we know where we are supposed to be, we can get there.

Saturday, June 1, 2013

A Community Accomplishment

Last semester, the end of this return to undergrad, I took Physics II, Organic Chemistry II, and Calculus. On my first day in Calculus, I knew I was in over my head and told the professor that my previous math class had been interrupted----- by watching the second tower fall on 9/11. This was not entirely true; my pre- calculus class in high school was actually in 2003, only ten years ago. In my 28 student Calculus class, I was one of four students to not have taken Calculus previously. I was the only one of those four who had not taken pre- calculus last semester.
In both Calculus and Organic Chemistry, I had extremely hard working professors who demanded excellence from their students and had the class averages to show that students were being challenged. In physics, I had the same professor as last semester, but more difficult material, a very rigorous pace, and I witnessed class averages significantly lower than last semester.

BUT I had a great team mate in Calculus--- another nontraditional student willing to work 3 to 4 hours every day on incredibly frustrating online homework problems and very thorough test reviews. I had a great study partner in organic chemistry, a motivated pre- pharmacy sophmore with a knack for both cooking and chemistry, so that our study days were amply sustained. In physics, my lab partners and I met the weekend of finals to fill all the classroom chalkboards with our most difficult diagrams and theories.

Throughout this year, furthermore, I have received incredible support from my housemates, who are always there when I feel a bit beaten down. The Purpose Driven Ladies' Group members at St. Michael's parish have both supported my decisions and really cared about me as a person. Finally, my incredible mentoring relationship with a friend, Tej, has been a great lift in times of difficulty.

There is no wonder why my Grandpa, the rural physician with a 50 yr. long practice, is one of the most community centered people I know.... nor why my housemate Dr. Jim is incredibly involved in his community. It is the secret of success, it is why my grades have remained stellar and I am ready for step 2: MCAT prep!