Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Glide?

My cousin and I pulled up to the thrift store early on Labor Day morning, to find a buzzing parking lot. After we found a space, we entered a store where shopping carts were jammed side to side in the isles, the women's clothing section was too congested to enter, and we finally camped out in the china section. Yes, this was the 50% off day at the Sioux Falls thrift store, Y's buys, and everyone was there. I selected the scrubs I wanted (bright, cartoon or solid, none of the faded geometrical patterns) and had to try them on over my clothes in the china isle. Four scrub tops for $5.88.... not bad!
I then rushed home to prepare a meal for my mother's visiting parents after which I left for a celebration at my father's parents house, where my grandparents, brother and sister in law, mom, and nephew were all in attendance.
My MCAT test, medical school applications, and premedical classes are done. I don't know what my MCAT scores are or where I will be accepted, but it takes a year to complete the admission process. This year is euphemistically termed the "Glide Year." As I wondered what to do with this year, I pondered what it's purpose was.... to make a lot of money? to feel like a professional for once? to live at a state park and write? to go to another country? to work on Arabic skills? To try to reduce my ecological footprint?
I realized that this was neither my last year of life nor a time to disconnect from my dream of medicine. I talked to my boss at the children's hospital about going full time and was given the option of working with the same children consistently. Furthermore, an organic chemistry professor who was particularly challenging and bright offered a medicinal and biochemistry course this fall semester.
During this "in-between" year, I am doing meaningful work based on a long term relationships with medically fragile children. It is humbling, as I realize my inadequacies and room for improvement and as my job status is not particularly prestigious. The real practice of medicine will be ultimately humbling. I also, however, find myself in ecstasy after a particularly long evening or after helping a child to accomplish a therapy goal. I am privileged to provide direct care to children I have grown to deeply care about. I will continue to learn and grow in my knowledge of medicinal science. During this year, I will continue to deepen relationships with my family members and provide assistance when and where I can. I will also continue writing and will be spurred on by secondary application essays. Finally, I will try to be humble and conservative in my use of our planet's limited resources.
Ultimately, I cannot worry about whether I have a good enough MCAT score or where I will be accepted to medical school if I am busy with life and if I love where I am right now. What if, what if, what if? To each one there is an answer, and, ultimately, I do not have one bad outcome possible.