Cool, dark night
So beautiful your smothering shroud
You gave me a stone fortress
in which to lie down.
But while swaddled , I dreamt
of color
and In my night sweats,
I imagined heat
Now, long awaited Dawn
in chariots of fire
melts away dank, diaphanous slumber
No more cover, pretenses, or dream
Instead the light of truth,
victory, defeat
I am almost done with my job and actively packing up my apartment while becoming very aware that I enter a new phase of life. While here in Sioux Falls, at my job, etc. I had a sense of security and safety. I knew that "if everything fell apart" I would still have my job and my little apartment and survive. There are several college graduates who do the same work as I and choose not to advance up the company ladder or into other institutions where they could practice at the tops of their licensure.
That is just not me. I have seen so much pain and I have actively sought to find my place and my calling for so long that I cannot simply concede. To do so would be, to me, a sort of blissful, mundane death. This job was what I needed to learn about direct patient care, to have a sense of calling and mission while I prepare for medical school, and to financially survive. This season is now ending.
So I move forward into my next venture. At this transition, however, I am very aware that I move from a comforting, safe (but deadly) night, into the blazing, challenging, honest light of day. No more security blanket, it would have become too soon a shroud.
When able to DO in full light, instead of only DREAM, my upcoming challenges will be full- hearted and robust. My battles will not be dreams but true, as will be my victories and defeats.
So beautiful your smothering shroud
You gave me a stone fortress
in which to lie down.
But while swaddled , I dreamt
of color
and In my night sweats,
I imagined heat
Now, long awaited Dawn
in chariots of fire
melts away dank, diaphanous slumber
No more cover, pretenses, or dream
Instead the light of truth,
victory, defeat
I am almost done with my job and actively packing up my apartment while becoming very aware that I enter a new phase of life. While here in Sioux Falls, at my job, etc. I had a sense of security and safety. I knew that "if everything fell apart" I would still have my job and my little apartment and survive. There are several college graduates who do the same work as I and choose not to advance up the company ladder or into other institutions where they could practice at the tops of their licensure.
That is just not me. I have seen so much pain and I have actively sought to find my place and my calling for so long that I cannot simply concede. To do so would be, to me, a sort of blissful, mundane death. This job was what I needed to learn about direct patient care, to have a sense of calling and mission while I prepare for medical school, and to financially survive. This season is now ending.
So I move forward into my next venture. At this transition, however, I am very aware that I move from a comforting, safe (but deadly) night, into the blazing, challenging, honest light of day. No more security blanket, it would have become too soon a shroud.
When able to DO in full light, instead of only DREAM, my upcoming challenges will be full- hearted and robust. My battles will not be dreams but true, as will be my victories and defeats.
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