Two lives, two dreams.

I have not one life,

But two

Not one dream

But two

And How they belong to each other

I never knew

When I lived the first one

The foolish,

The zealous

The brave

I stayed awake

And saw myself

Who I could become

Hollow, proud,

Estranged.

In that first garden

Was born

a second dream

Of feet on earth

And every cell in my being

Part of my surroundings

Woven in

To those around me

Myself, not remarkable

Not applauded

But part

Of something deeper--

Love-- Life's true art

My past is a mirror

I look in and see

I am no visionary nor savior,

Not wise nor supreme.

But a stone, a brick, a member

Of the Mother, who,

Carrying the world,

Leads us to peace.

I am getting ready to get married.  I am halfway through medical school.  I am pursuing a dream that I had while in the Peace Corps, of doing rural medicine in the US and somehow supporting medical education overseas.  Sometimes, I wonder if I am on the "right" path, but at those times, I have to remember what I learned in Uganda-- about the centrality of community, about the hard work and talent I saw there, about the role I saw for myself in supporting amazing people and organizations.


At times, I can intellectually wish that I somehow reduced the time spent before medical school.  But when I have a crisis of calling or feel the itch to remain nomadic, I am truly grateful for the time I had to grow.


"It may be that the satisfaction I need depends on my going away, so that when I've gone and come back, I'll find it at home."  Rumi