Stupid

I feel so stupid, and it is the best way to feel. I am spending a week in Kampala with five other Peace Corps volunteers evaluating our program and training. When I joined Peace Corps, I thought I would be surrounded by people just finishing BAs with no knowledge about the broader world. How wrong I was. In this series of meetings, I felt the same way I did in ninth grade biology, in AP English, and in my first semester of grad. school—stupid. Not only are there some amazing credentials here—one Harvard biochemistry Ph.D., one former pro baseball player, one rising entrepreneur, several competent engineers and nurses; in short-- several people much more well informed about the world than I. In the past, when I knew I was behind, dug in my heels and really worked. It was during those times that I learned and grew the most. Yeah, my pride might have been hurt and my self- confidence questioned, metamorphosis pains. I don’t want to be at a place where I don’t feel challenged, where I am the smartest. I’ve had those too—glass aquariums, they limited my environment, my perspective, stunting and retarding. In short, I am stupid, and hope I never change.