Welcome to America

I have arrived!!- - in the US. My first day, after landing in JFK, I boarded the red line heading to Penn Station. I was the only person without a smart phone and was doing the unthinkable-- reading a PAPER book. Yikes! Amtrack security videos continually replayed tips for locating potential terrorists-- If you see someone asking strange questions (which one is Penn Station?) or trying to escape by way of suspicious doors (wow, sorry I didn't see that blazing Exit sign) or laying down suspicious baggage (my hot pink striped African bag?) or carrying suspicious items (a pillow sized bag of dried green leaves-- for cooking) or wearing suspicious clothes (nuff said). Anyway, I barely escaped the police that time.
I was caught a few weeks later when jogging outside of my brother's house. The sherriff looked at me and asked, "Do you think that is safe, young lady?" Apart from my lack of headphones and use of the correct side of the road, cars swerved around several lanes to be at least ten feet away from me. I literally felt more safe than I had in years. The sheriff, however, thought jogging could prove bad for my health (he obviously stayed far away from it himself). He then drove me back to the housing complex, and, using his gut as a built in desk, drew a map, showing how I could drive to the jogging path at the park. Welcome to America.